Forgive My Life

Posts Tagged ‘fml

I have no excuse for my lack of blogging…except the 5 kids, the dog, the husband, the house, the purging, and the studying. There are about a zillion FML moments that I have let go without blogging. I am barely able to open the computer, let alone form that shit into sentences and blog posts.

Yesterday I realized that Murphy’s Law has a completely separate set of rules when it comes to motherhood. Here’s a compilation of a few Murphy’s Laws of Motherhood:

-Mom will use the bathroom immediately after the one that pees on the seat. Every time.

-Mom will use the energy of 100 men to clean all the things while the kids destroy it all.

-Mom will discover that we are out of toilet paper…while using the bathroom.

-Mom will just sit down to a cup of hot coffee when the shit hits the fan (figuratively AND literally).

-Mom will just lay down for a nap when all of the neighbourhood kids decide to converge upon the house…especially when the kids are not home.

-Mom will spend hours creating a delicious meal…only to have to eat it cold.

-Mom will make sure the kids have everything they need (and more) to leave the house…and then forget to put on a bra.

-Mom will remember everyone’s birth date, health care #, bank account/credit card #, password, doctor’s phone #,…. and forget how old she is/her cell number/her middle name/that damned bra.

Please feel free to add your own Murphy’s Laws of Motherhood to the list!


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