Handbags and H2O

Posted by: TaraChaputYIAH on: May 6, 2012

• In: Way to Start My Day | Yet Another WTF Moment
• 2 Comments

My kid has a crazy water fetish. I am trying to be breezy since it’s just water but come the fuck on… he’s gotta fill shit with water on a daily basis and dump it on the floor? The dog’s water bowl has become a private pool for all of his little mini figures. Yes, I bet Buzz desperately needed a bath but the dog doesn’t quite grasp the fact that there is water in there and he gets a bit of a stupid look going on when Buzz is staring back at him.

(Related to that; Dear Wylder, Get out of the dog’s bed! No wonder he bites your ears! You annoy the shit out of him when you are sprawled out across the damn thing and now he’s starting to sleep on my throw pillows. I can’t get comfortable on the couch when the pillow I’m laying my head on smells like dog ass. I just can’t!!)

Back to this water business…. had I known you would fill a handbag with water, I wouldn’t have convinced Anya to go find you another purse while you were going apeshit on her because you wanted her Dora purse.

I’m in the middle of making myself a latte when the handbag starts pouring water through the bottom. It takes less than 3 minutes to make a latte and I can’t just stop steaming my milk! I just finished a cooking marathon, my feet hurt, every dish in our house is dirty, I am unshowered, and my lunch is getting cold… 3 fucking minutes for you to not get into shit is not a big fucking deal! I promise!

And really, Gavin…when I ask you to grab the bag, can you please not walk as slow as you can while it still drips all over the floor?

My damn knees are sore from soaking up small lakes worth of water off of my floor. And I feel guilty because I read the chapter in my book about water. Little people need to get themselves outside so that my head doesn’t explode.

Tags: destruction, toddlers, water