Forgive My Life

Paging Dr. Google

Posted on: May 24, 2012

I know I am not the only person who googles symptoms and then freaks out when Dr. Google tells me I have an inoperable brain tumour or MS.

That shit happens way too often… I get a headache for 3 days, I have a ringing in my ears, my left foot goes numb, …. And I know better than to Google my symptoms but I still do it! Glutton for punishment?

Probably worse than my numerous consultations with Dr. Google is the fact that I have a bit of a fear of doctors. Well, not really a fear of doctors but more an intense hatred for being spoken to like I’m a stupid child that just needs to be shut up with anti-depressants.

Maybe more alarming than Dr. Google is the fact that I am now the proud owner of a wealth of information in the form of textbooks. Several times in the first couple of chapters, I would pause and think “Wow…I need more _____. And less _____. And maybe that’s what’s wrong with me!”. Billy, at one point, asked if I was planning on self diagnosing for the next 2 years. Ummm….yeah! And I’m going to diagnose the hell out of you, too! Ha!

My latest self diagnosis? Mercury poisoning. I have a lot of the symptoms. Fatigue, tingling/numbness in my face, hands, and feet, emotional instability, … And I’m currently analyzing my urine to see if it has a change in odor.

More like is the fact that I need to sleep more and stop eating whatever food I’m having a reaction too. But it’s impressive how many diseases overlap symptoms! Here’s the ultimate lesson: never, ever Google what could be causing your fatigue because Dr. Google will respond “You gonna die, bitch!”. He’s an asshole like that.

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1 Response to "Paging Dr. Google"

I am a victim to Dr. Google too often too. I have to stop myself from Googling symptoms, he always tell us the worst ;)

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